Coming of Age

I'm growing up again.  I thought I finished that "coming of age" bullshit back in 10th grade but I guess finding myself is different from growing up.  Actually I didn't think growing up was all that important, not right now anyway.  But my personal problems last week made me realize that I have to be more independent.  I need to get out and let myself grow.  Staying on the internet and spending time at home is ok, but I'm going nowhere with routine.  My personality is too big for sameness.  I need adventure, even if it's a small one.  Hopefully I'll find courage to follow my dreams, but until then I'm just going to do things that will lead me there.  I plan to get my driver's license by next year, so that's a start.  And hopefully I'll get a job and save up for my dreams.  I made a playlist for adventure a few days ago. Adventure Music

Two Princes - a poem

I don’t know why

I admire a Guy

who trashes Rolexs every week

but

despise some idiot

who falls

in

love with

a different girl every month.

I'm getting back into writing. This is just a start.  

November so far

School is still overwhelming me and I have some personal matters that are just adding to my stress. Not even my weekends feel sacred anymore.  Things are getting fine, but I still need to work harder to make things right.  There will never be a perfect day, a perfect week, but all I want is five minutes of no stress.  I need to do different things rather than homework and internet because I'm getting sad for no reason with this routine.  Rather than analyze why I'm so sad with it all, I'm just going to do things I've wanted to do but have been putting off.  I've been putting off being creative because of school and TV shows but starting tonight I'm going to write a poem.  I know it won't be a great poem, but it will lead me to the gold. 
I've made a playlist a few days ago. Please check it out.
Songs for Optimism

Agana Bay

Gonna be featured in a chapbook

The chapbook I'll be featured in will be released October 24 at the U.O.G. Theater.  I'm really thankful that my dear friend Ruffa and my rockstar teacher Mr. Harmon has decided to include me and a couple of our classmates in this.  Ruffa says that this project isn't hers, but most of it is her idea.  She has done a lot of the work putting it together and has been doing a good job at it.  I'm grateful to have someone as amazing and brilliant and caring as her.  She is supportive when it comes to making my poems sound right.  And she has really helped me get out of my uneasiness of poetry.

Another person who has been a big part of this project is our teacher, Mr. PK Harmon.  He gave me some good advice a few days ago on how to handle rejection and I'm glad that I have someone as encouraging as him on my team.  I've always been iffy about following my dreams.  I think big, but then act small because I'm fearful of rejection.  Mr. Harmon showed me that rejection is just a part of trying to get published.  So I walk into the darkness with my head held high.

For Cierra

I've been out of the game lately.  I'm getting overwhelmed with my college classes.  This semester is my hardest and it's not going to get any easy.  Math is my biggest stressor.  My homegirl Cierra and her BFF Mark made math look cool and fun, so I decided to give it a shot and now I'm stuck.  I'm too late in the game to get out.  I thought I could be amazing, I thought I could be a math minor, but this game is more difficult than I thought.  But I will survive.  I know I can get far.  But I've been working myself too hard and I'm not getting anywhere with all this anxiety.  Another thing is I've been feeling lonely as usual.  I try to spend time with people, but they have their own friends.  I'm ok.  I have my own distractors to keep me occupied.  I will make it through because I know what I can do.

Cotangents*of Yevgeny

One of my poems has been published on a site! 

Here's the link to the page!

Cotangents of Yevgeny

-a teenage love story

Johanna Salinas

Part 1

Dec. 20, 2012

“I hope the apocalypse

will be as pretty as you!”

Yevgeny shouts

as he forgets

himself into the

brown ankle deep puddle

he insists is a pond.

His Queen, Yudina, blushes

a rosy bouquet as

her virginal

heart snaps

this moment into

her Memory Museum.

Please Yevgeny, please

don’t break her virginal

heart.  Dang it!

Get yourself out

of the mud and

into her love!

Do it now

before she realizes

what a total loser you are.

Do it now

before the earth caves in

with the stars.

Part 2

Dec. 21, 2012

“Welcome to the nightmare!”

Yevgeny sang as he

hid from the future

under a pile of dead leaves,

but lost himself

in the darkness

of a vacuum

of beautiful things.

Dec. 22, 2012

“I dreamed

we were dead,”

Yudina breathed.

“And I remember being so happy.”

Part 3

A Letter to Yevgeny From His Queen

Dear Goofball,                                                                                                                     

Somewhere in heaven,

an angel must be fainting from madness

because I made a wish

on the constellation

of pimples below your eyes.

Because tossing well-earned money

down a well

just isn’t enough

to contain my adoration of YOU.

Killing those dumb dinosaurs

couldn’t have said it more.

Streets graffiti me with neon and traffic

but all I know is you.  

All I see is your silvery surprised blink

as I dance along to the parade song

stuck in your head.

Somewhere a village is being deprived

 of an idiot because

I wished for you.

 

*the opposite of a tangent 

New Drawings by Me

 Egyptian Eyes

 Futuristic Model

 Indie Bohemian Chic